Day 3: Snortin' and drinkin'

Your views on drugs and alcohol:

I'm guessing my views aren't really innovative or controversial.  Alcohol is fine in moderation.  Don't ever drink and drive.  I'm not really a drinker; I can probably count on one hand the number of drinks I have in a year, but I'd never tell anybody else not to do it as long as they're responsible.  As for drugs...well, drugs are bad, mmmmkay?  Seriously, I'm on the fence about marijuana and legalizing it.  Having never tried it (really, never!) I have no idea how it affects the body, and the arguments for and against legalizing it contain such conflicting facts it's really hard to say.  As far as everything else goes, it's illegal for a reason, right?  I can't really see how anybody could say meth or heroin or cocaine or whatever should be legalized.

So yeah.  Drink in moderation and don't do drugs.  There's your PSA for the day, courtesy of little ol' me.

*cue "The more you know" music and the shooting star*

Blog Challenge: Day 2

Where you'd like to be in 10 years...

Oooh, this one is a toughie.  I'm hoping that by that point I will no longer be a stay-at-home-mom, since my kids will be nearly sixteen, eighteen and twenty-three by that point.  (They won't need me here after school by then, will they?  Pleasesaynopleasesaynopleasesayno!)  If my primary dream of winning the lottery and becoming a lady of luxury hasn't come true by then (and since I don't actually play the lottery I'm guessing it won't), I'd like to have a career going.  I'm hoping to go to school in the next year or two--for what exactly, I still don't know.  I'd like to get into either the medical field or maybe go to beauty school.  (Two very different career paths, I know.)  My cousin and I have talked about going to the local community college together and taking some non-credit courses in floral arrangement and party planning.  (Another dream of mine is to open a floral boutique/party planning business.)  With Sam and Norah being so young still, it's going to be hard to do nursing school because you have to be available pretty much 24/7.  I've been thinking of taking a phlebotomy certification course as a way to get myself into the field and then adding to it with a laboratory assistant certification and then maybe become a medical assistant.  After caring for my mom while she was sick and giving Jake his weekly injections, I know that I'm less squeamish than I ever thought I was.  On the other hand, I also have a real interest in becoming a stylist and doing hair.  That would definitely be the more playful and fun job!  No blood or guts and the only crying is over a bad haircut.

Sometimes thinking about the future makes my head spin.  I have a LOT of planning to do.  Maybe tomorrow I'll buy a lottery ticket...

And the challenge begins!

*deep breath*

Okay, I'm ready.  30 Day Blog Challenge begins...NOW!

Day 1:  Your current relationship, if single, discuss how single life is.

My current relationship status is married.  I haven't been single in for what feels like 150 years.  In reality, it's nearly 18 together, 16 married.  Holy cow.  That's a looooong time to be with just one person and still both be alive.

Todd and I have been together since just after my 22nd birthday, and I'll be 40 in two weeks.  We met on December 31, 1993 at Rodeo, a country-western line dance saloon.  (Stop laughing!)  The next morning, when my mom asked me if I'd met anybody the night before, I told her I met the man I was going to marry.

  On August 27, 1994, Todd proposed during a dinner cruise aboard the Liberty Belle Clipper.  He was so nervous he dropped the ring and it almost went through the boards of the deck.  It was so cute!  I knew something was up, and everybody in my family was acting squirrelly and giving me sappy smiles and "awwww"ing a lot.  He even asked my dad for my hand in marriage.  Such a traditionalist, my guy is!  On September 9, 1995, we said "I do".

The past 16 years have been full of ups and downs.  Some of the ups have been amazing (the births of our 3 kids), and some of the downs have been devastating (the deaths of my grandmother, my niece and my father).    We've overcome the tough stuff and we're still together.  There are times where we want to absolutely KILL each other, but we work through it and get over it and move on.  He drives me nuts at times, and there have been moments where I haven't been sure we'd make it.  But despite those bad days, there isn't anyone else I can imagine growing old with.  Like he always tells me (in his best Forrest Gump voice) "We go together like peas and carrots, Jenny."

Todd and I have always said we wanted to follow in our respective parents' footsteps:  we both come from families where the parents have 40+ year marriages.  We're nearly halfway there...I think we might must make it!

*tap tap* Is this thing on???

Instead of apologizing for being a terrible blogger and making half-hearted promises to be a better blogess, I think I'm just going to go ahead and BLOG, already!  Thanks to a friend, I have a 30 day blog challenge to inspire me.  Some of the questions are silly and shallow ("What are the first 10 songs that come up on your iPod on shuffle?") and others are much deeper ("What are your views on religion?").  It definitely runs the gamut from the mundane to the fantastic.

I'm starting December 1st.  This should be interesting.  And hopefully lots of fun!

So I have this crazy idea...

I've been thinking about this for a while now. I really want to go "off the grid" and start eating--and living--as naturally as possible. It's a shame that I haven't done this sooner, because I live on a farm and have the means to do the things I want to do. I can't wait until spring: because when Taxmas comes, so does The Big Change!

Here are my plans:

1. Raised bed gardening. I plan to build (or have the hubby build) six 8'x8' raised beds. One bed will be extra-deep for potatoes. The other beds will be planted by season, and will coordinate with what my father-in-law plants. There is no reason for both of us to plant zucchini, tomatoes, cucumbers or green peppers, because he plants 10 times more than he actually uses. I'd love to plant one of the beds with strawberries, one with yellow beans (which my kids go nuts for), one with potatoes, one with cauliflower, brussels sprouts and broccoli, one with various lettuces, and one with...well, we'll leave one open for ideas. I'm looking into using composite materials for the beds instead of treated wood. The initial cost may be more, but I like the idea of not having toxic chemicals leaching into my topsoil. I'm also going to do some research into formaldehyde-free wood.

2. Chickens. We have nearly two acres of our own, plus access to the other 115 acres of my in-laws' farm. I'm planning to have Todd build a coop and fence in behind the house, using the house and the steep cliff-like part of the hillside as two sides of the boundary (hooray for Todd and his inability to know when to say "stop" with the backhoe!) along with some chain-link fence we've got lying around. I love the thought of gathering eggs from our very own chickens. I'm planning to feed them an organic diet . My FIL grows a ton of field corn for the cows, and I'm fairly certain we can grind it a bit and feed it to the chickens. The kids are really excited about having chickens, and I think it will be a wonderful learning experience for them. Jake and possibly Sam will be joining 4H next year, and chickens would make a great animal project for them.

3. Composting. I tried a compost bin last year, and I have to admit, it was a smelly, fly-ridden disaster. We've decided to fork out the money for a turning composting bin this time around. I hate the idea of wasting all of those nutrient-rich food scraps, and I can't wait to make my own compost to put on my garden. Maybe we'll throw in a few earthworms for good measure.

4. Rain barrels. Until someone comes and tells me that it's illegal to collect rainwater, (and I think it's INSANE that in some places that's true) I'm planning to have at least two rain barrels in operation for watering the garden and the lawn. Luckily for me, Todd's handy and can adapt the downspouts to accommodate a rain barrel. My water bill is high enough--I LOVE the idea of using the water that falls from the sky to water my garden.

5. Possibly raising our own steer for beef. The more I learn about what goes into the raising, handling and slaughtering of beef, the more interested I am in raising our own steer. It is very ironic that I live on a beef cattle farm, but buy my meat at the grocery store. I don't know that I could look at one of the cows outside of my window and later eat it for dinner (there is still a soft-hearted city girl living inside me) so we'll probably find a reputable farmer who raises antibiotic-and hormone-free cattle. I want to fill my freezer with enough meat and veggies to last me the entire year.

6. Staying away from the prepackaged, boxed foods at the store. While they're quick and easy, they're filled with so much garbage I feel guilty when I feed them to my family. I've already started cooking ahead on the weekends and freezing for later use. This weekend is breakfast weekend. I'm planning to make french toast sticks, waffles and pancakes for the boys' breakfasts. I'm going to implement my friend Carmin's menu planning system to keep things fresh and interesting but manageable. It's so easy to fall into a rut and make the same meals over and over, and I have a tendency to become a total idiot when I make my menu and get into the store. I'm going to make my own bread again so I can stop buying the over-processed, chemical- and preservative-laden garbage they try to pass off as bread in the store. I will not be a victim of the corn growers any longer. I will not allow my children to be pumped full of crap that they're trying to pass of as "healthy". We all know it's unhealthy, and as a stay-at-home-mom, I have no reason to not protect my kids from the trash in the grocery store because it's easier than making it myself and knowing exactly what's in it.

There are other things I want to do, but I know it's crazy to try to implement them all at once. I've got a fair bit of stuff to do next year (and a fair bit of money will have to go into it), but I am SO EXCITED to start this journey! I think that once my family gets over the shock of not having the cabinets stocked with every imaginable type of junk food, they'll realize how delicious Mom's cooking can be, and how much fun it is to plant and grow their own food. I think...no, I KNOW...this project will change our lives. And the change will be good.

My invisible friends

I used to think that couples who said they fell in love online were crazy. How in the world could you fall in love with someone you've never seen or met in person? How could you truly know that you had a real connection with them if you've never laid eyes upon them? It was a complete mystery, and I wasn't so sure I believed it.

Until it happened to me.

I fell in love over the internet. But not with a man. I fell in love with a group of women, or as my husband calls them, "your invisible friends".

I'd been connected to the world wide web for some time, but had never ventured into online forums. For some weird reason, the thought of going online and chatting with total strangers intimidated me. Then, one day in November 2006, I received an email from Clubmom inviting me to join their exciting new mommy website, CafeMom. I checked it out, and thought it would be cool to get in on the ground floor, so to speak. One of my concerns about joining online forums was that I would be a stranger and a newb and not know how things worked, and would embarrass myself. But if I joined CafeMom at the very beginning, I'd know how things worked. So I joined, and began to personalize my home page. And the friend requests started coming. I felt like Prom Queen! Total strangers wanted to be my friend! This was AWESOME. I began to spend more and more time online, reading journals, commenting, and writing my own. In the early days of Cafemom, it was small, and it seemed like everybody knew everybody. I felt like a rock star when I got comments on my journals. I started making more and more friends, and eventually, it expanded from just commenting on journals and sending private messages to instant messaging. Talking in "real time" was so cool! My friends hailed from all over the country. We'd stay up late at night and talk for hours and hours. I couldn't believe the way I was forming bonds with people I'd never met in person.

Over time, my friend list became streamlined. Gone were the days where the thrill of adding to my list was more important than the connection we shared. I realized that quality mattered more than quantity when it comes to friends. I had a circle of friends that couldn't have been more perfect for me. Brilliant, hilarious, kind, loving, witty, snarky women who were there to support me no matter what. And I was there for them in return. We come to each other in good times and bad. And in some ways, it's better to have them all to myself. They don't know Todd, they don't know my kids, they don't know my extended family--they only know me. They are my support system for those times when I can't turn to my husband or mom or even real-life friends.

When my dad died, the love and support I received from my friends was overwhelming. From phone calls to texts to cards to flowers...they were there for me in a way some of my oldest real-life friends were not. Even though I was going through one of the most devastating times of my life, I knew I always had a soft place to fall. I knew that I could go in to my groups, and cry, vent or rage, and they would be there to comfort me. And comfort me they did. I only hope that I am as good a friend to them as they are to me.

So now I know how people can fall in love online. There is a freedom online that you just don't feel in person. All artifice is stripped away. No one cares that I'm sitting here, in my pajamas, with major bedhead and stinky morning breath. No one cares about that zit on my chin. I don't have to worry about being self-conscious--I don't have to feel that feeling of anxiety when I walk into a room and think, "Oh my goodness...I'm the fattest person here." They know me--the real, true, honest ME. Of course, they've seen pictures of me. The closer we all got, the more of our lives we've shared, and that includes photos of ourselves. But nobody is judging me based on what I look like, because they've seen the inner me, and the outer me really isn't important.

The only drawback to having friends who live in the box on my desk is the lack of physical contact. For all the pluses of getting to know a person from the inside-out, the lack of physical contact can be depressing. When I lost my dad, I really wanted to feel all of the virtual hugs that were being sent my way. I've been lucky enough to meet two of my online friends, and it was so wonderful to finally make that face-to-face connection. I've always told my husband that if we ever win the lottery, one of the first things I'm going to do is arrange a HUGE, extravagant weekend for all of my girls. Oh, the fun we would have! Hmmm...maybe I should actually start playing the lottery so I can increase my chances of winning...

My friends may be invisible, but they are as real to me as the chair I'm sitting on or the person I see when I look in the mirror. They make me laugh, they comfort me when I cry, and they are the force that keeps me going when I think I can't possibly go on. They have blessed me and overwhelmed me with love and ask nothing in return but my love. I am one lucky woman!

Ummm...I got nothin'.

It has, yet again, been months since I last wrote anything on this blog. And here I sit, fingers poised above the keyboard, and nothing to write about. Oh, there are things I could blather on about. The fact that our AC died just one day after a week of record-breaking temperatures, and my fear that we will melt like popsicles the next time the temp hits 85*. I could write about the weird smell coming through the windows that I am pretty sure is a dead thing-most likely a cow-in the field above us. I could write about the fact that my dad died a month ago and how lost I still feel without him here. But nothing feels interesting to me. Nothing is sparking my imagination.

I feel completely blah. I wish I could be the sort of person who's perky 24/7. I wish I could be the sort of person who is always able to find the silver lining/sunny side/bright spot, but unfortunately, I am not. I feel dark and moody and emo right now. Move over, Debbie Downer, because Jen is here!

Hmmm...maybe I'll go drink one (or two, or three or all six) of the Mike's Hard Pink Lemonades in my fridge and do some drunk blogging. That sounds like fun. Better hurry and tuck the kids in before I hit the sauce. They don't need to see Mama dancing around in her underwear, only stopping occasionally to write some sort of drunken nonsense on the Interwebs for the whole world (or the three people who read this) to see. I'll save that image for when they're older...